I used to belong to a group of girls when I went to (what probably would translate as) high school. Two of them are still my best friends, the other two I have lost all contact with. I don’t remember too much what was said, we were girls and I guess we talked mostly about boys. But there is one conversation that I still, very clearly, recall.
We were sitting on the lawn outside the house of one of the girls and we were talking about the future. What did we expect of it, what did we want, and so on. I don’t remember what they said they wanted to do, precisely, but one of them said that when she had kids, she still wanted to be able to afford to go to nice restaurants. Another girl agreed and said she wanted to be able to take a taxi where ever she was going, and then they turned to me and asked me what I wanted out of life. My answer at age 18? ” I just want to be happy”.
Now I guess this would not have been a conversation I would have remembered if they all had said “Wow, that’s an excellent answer!” or something like that. But because their reaction was to look at me like I was stupid, then laugh and afterwards repeat my answer to others like it was a joke, that conversation is stuck forever. I have been mulling on their reaction for almost 20 years, not being able to figure out what it was that was so funny about my dreams of the future.
So, have I been happy my whole life? No! Of course not. At different points in life I have been discontent, thinking I was supposed to have done more, earned more, owned more. I am not saying that trying to simplify and thinking minimalist has made everything better. Except that I am saying that it has! Because I feel more content, I feel like I have all that I need and that I don’t want anything else than a happy, functioning family who loves spending time together.
I guess a “who’s laughing now” would be fitting as an ending to this post, and the thing is; I am laughing.
Because I am happy!