Dreams. There are different kind of dreams you can have that are more or less realistic, more or less crazy and more or less share-able. Like me going on a two week vacation to Iceland – totally realistic! Leaving the country, a job, being “irresponsible” with the kids… Not so realistic, in fact, totally crazy and it’s making me sweat just to think about sharing that with, for example, my parents. (And still, not unrealistic – people’ve done it before!)
For me, it takes time to share my dreams with the people that matter the most. I don’t want them to perceive me as a dreamer who talks about all these things that I want to do and then I never follow through. I think that dreaming without following through is a bad thing. I see it as a failure.
Now, I am talking about me, how I fail if I talk about dreaming too big. I really don’t care about other people’s failure, I’m much harder on myself. How come we are so quick at beating ourselves up, but can forgive others much easier?
Okay, so I don’t talk about my dreams with the people closest to me. Not my husband, not my parents, not my friends. I don’t want them to think I’m crazy, until I have thought things through properly for a while. And “a while” sometimes turns into years. And then I tell them what I’ve been thinking about for a year and it hits them from nowhere. And then they think I’m crazy!
So what I should have learned years ago is that I need to talk to people. Especially my husband, since most of my dreams actually includes him too. Of course!
The other day when I was feeling down I decided to do that. I told him about something that I have been dreaming of for seven years and that I’ve mentioned from time to time but not like it would ever be a real option. And you know what he said? He didn’t think I was crazy, he didn’t say it was impossible, he didn’t laugh at me. None of what I feared became reality. What he said was: If that’s your dream, let’s look into it. I’m in.
So I keep dreaming, but with the hopes of perhaps making this one come true.