There’s a lot to be applied to my headline today.
“One more day, and then the renevations are DONE!”
“One more day, and then all the grades are DONE!”
“One more day, and then I can give full attention to the prom that I am organizing at school (…which is in four days, yikes!)”
There’s so many things at the end of the semester, not just for me as a teacher, but also my own kids! And I never seem to have time for doing their school related stuff, and for that I have such bad conscience! Actually, I’ve been feeling so bad about it that I just emailed my boss to ask if I could quit a bit early in Tuesday, thinking about my son at his (last) summer party with his daycare and no one from his family having time to show up just breaks my heart! I do not know how to make this puzzle less complicated – my two kids at home or my 78 kids at school. Damn, life is difficult sometimes!
Yeah, okay, so life is difficult and I am feeling stressed to the point where I’d like to curl up into a ball and cry my eyes out. I also think that a lot of this comes from separation anxiety. In less than two weeks I will say goodbye to my students and they will move on to bigger and better things. I have known them and spent three years with them, seeing them grow up and mature, and when they’re finally people with whom I can joke and laugh with, they’re moving on. And I’ll have to start all over again with new kids. Why did I ever become a teacher?! The investment in these kids, emotionally and otherwise, are huge, and draining!
Well, I became a teacher because I love what I do. And I will cry my heart out. And then I will feel hugely relieved.
Because soon I’ll have summer break – with just MY kids.
I can hardly wait!