Hey, yo. This won’t be a positive post so if you’re looking for inspiration, quit reading.
So my job as a teacher is wonderful, at times. It can also be awful. It is stressing, it is loud, it is too much administrative work to do, too much fostering kids, and too little educating going on. Right now the only thing I am grateful for when it comes to my job, is that I can be home sick from it. Because that’s what I am.
Just some background information. I have a hole in my head. This hole is located in my ear and makes sound slip right into my brain which affects my balance. I had an operation last year which has helped tremendously, but I am finding myself getting more and more sensitive to sound. The problem I have also gives me the opportunity to actually hear my bones when I walk. That is, all sounds coming from my body goes straight into my head. My own voice is very loud.
So yesterday I had a bunch of kids in class in the morning. I told them that I am not working full time anymore because I can’t really handle the noise. I have figured out that this actually is the greatest reason for me feeling stressed – the noise! Well, they said they understood, and then they started talking…. and the louder they got the louder I had to be to overpower them, which made my head hurt, and my ear hurt. And then I had an even louder class afterwards, and in the afternoon I had a class of kids who didn’t listen when I yelled from the top of my lungs. I almost lost my voice, and there was ringing in my ear. When that lesson finished, I went to the school secretary and told her to get a substitute teacher for my last class, and then I went home. I am not going back for the rest of this week. My ear feels funny, and not in a way that makes me wanna laugh.
Something has to be done. Step one is not talking loud. Or being in places where the noise is loud. Which is also known as Notatwork. I know this must sound strange to people living outside of Sweden, the way I can just stay at home if I’m not well. Well, thank god for the system! And for paying high taxes. I refuse to sacrifice my hearing for a job.
Tomorrow I have an appointment at the hospital to check out what’s wrong, because something clearly is.
Yes. I’m done.