Man it was hard motivating myself yesterday to go to work today. I have said this before, and again – my main complaint for not liking my job is that it is very soul-less and boring (compared to my former life as a teacher which had perhaps too much soul and was never boring). It doesn’t really bother me as much to do boring stuff as long as I have things to do. But when the boring stuff also aren’t enough to fill the day, that’s when it gets extremely difficult for me to motivate myself to go to work. I like being productive and making a difference, or at least feel like I earn my pay. Also – having a full day at work gets the energy level up, and thus I am more productive when I get home too, whereas the opposite is also true.
The other thing about work is the very uninspiring office building, where “they” for some reason haven’t had any heat on what so ever during fall and December, so we’ve been freezing our butts off, wearing hats and even gloves (well, me, anyway) while working. Those two things were my main concern avout starting work again after the holidays. But of course I got up and went like the responsible adult person that I am.
So coming to work today felt a bit uninspired, knowing I was going to be chilled to the bones as usual, but – surprise! – someone has turned the heat up and now it’s actually pretty cozy in the office. Turnes out I did have quite a few things to do too, even though I didn’t think I did, which means time has flown by (up until the last hour or so).
What I wanted to say is that getting out of my own head is sometimes (often) necessary for me to feel good about life and myself. The dream of being independent and spending my time freely might not be the thing that suits me the best.
That, my friends, is the important insight that I take with me as I crawl up from the black hole I spent the holidays in.